Social Diamonds

As humans in a modern world we are drawn to big and shiny things. The lights and glamour of fame and fortune captivate our minds. And when a shiny light goes out we make as big a deal as when they came in. We don't even have to have known those people for whom we grieve; their contribution to society could have been detrimental. Yet as long as they were shiny, we still act as if some personal injury has been done to us when they go. A diamond is the most precious gem: the most expensive, the shiniest, the most beautiful, and long-lasting. In life we are attracted to social gold and silver which is easily tarnished. "Diamonds in the rough" are all around us, and we ignore them. Children and families around the world, the most precious gems of all, are being tortured and killed in horrific circumstances, and we turn a blind eye. Why do we tolerate the inhumanity before us?

Quotes From The Week - "When the Spirit leads, the words flow like living water."

About Letting Down A Friend
"Letting someone down is part of friendship. It's sad because it shouldn't be, but we're human and we fail, so it is. The proof of real friendship is when you're willing to rise above the mistakes and the heartbreak, forgive, and grow stronger because you did." ~Lady Liz

About Being Afraid
"Call out to Him any time. He is always listening even if all you can say is 'oww' or 'I don't understand'. God hasn't given you a spirit of fear. Remember He is in complete control and loves you so so much. He is with you every step. He never slumbers or sleeps. Cling to Jesus with everything you have. When you are weak He is strong. It's not so much that people see you [being strong], it's that they see Jesus." ~Kerry

"We don't have to fight for His attention ever. He's right there with us all the time. And He loves to listen to us." ~Stephanie

"When you come to the end of yourself, you find the beginning of God." ~Unknown

"The thing is, if we're relying on God, focusing on his plan and purpose, and trying to align our hearts with his in everything we do, then we have nothing to be afraid of. Because even if things don't turn out the way we way we expected or wanted to in the beginning, we know that it's going to be better because His plans for us are of peace and prosper to us. We are beneficiaries of His perfect love, and "perfect love casts out fear." ~Lady Liz

"Let Go of the Reins"

God is the rider, the Holy Spirit is the reins, and we are the horse. Have you ever seen a horse try to turn around and ride itself? It doesn't work, obviously. The problem we are constantly running into as people is that we keep trying to turn around and ride ourselves, and take the reins from God in our lives, trying to jerk the leading of the Holy Spirit to bend to our own ways. We hold on to the reins and try going in our own direction, pulling pulling pulling, holding on, unwilling to yield in any small or large given area where we still want control. When all we're supposed to do is trust our rider, our master, let go of our grip on the reins, and trust that He will use the Holy  Spirit to direct us to the path that is best for us.

Shadowing Death

There was a girl that sat next to the hospital bed of the woman with cancer. She stared at the woman watching for a while, until the she finally asked the girl, "What are you thinking?" "Nothing really. It's just that suddenly I know all these people who have died or are dying. It seems like everyone around me is dying, and I don't know how to handle it." the girl answered. The woman thought quietly for a moment and then asked the girl another question. "What do you think the verse in Psalm 23 that says 'Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil' means?" "Well I think it means that when you're dying you don't have to be afraid because you know what's coming." "That's what I thought for a long time too." said the woman. "But now that I'm dying I realize the truth is that I'm facing death; you're the one shadowing it. I think the verse is saying I can be unafraid because I know where I'm going and what's coming, and you can be unafraid even though you don't know what's coming. With all your friends and family that are leaving you, you are shadowing death, but you don't have to be afraid and can lean on the Lord who is holding a rod and a staff of comfort, and will always be with you."

Anniversary

Yesterday is the one-year anniversary of the day my parents got divorced. Tomorrow is the one-year anniversary of the day I learned that my parents were finally divorced. It feels like it was forever ago, and yet I remember everything with perfect clarity as if it had been yesterday. Divorce is a terrible and horrible thing for anyone and everyone to go through, and I've definitely had my down moments, but looking back I see so much blessing in the change that God has brought to my life through the divorce. What Satan meant for evil, God turned into extreme good for me.

In these years of big and seemingly constant change, something like a divorce can seem like a lot to handle. Maybe even more than you can handle. I don't have a great lesson to share, since I'm still going through it and learning myself, so I'll just leave you with a few words of encouragement.

Firstly, remember that how you react to hardship and difficulty could be the testimony that draws someone else to Christ. We are supposed to display Him to others in all situations to bring others to Him. If the only purpose for you going through your trial was to lead someone else that direction, then your time dealing with it would have been well-spent.

Secondly, Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans of peace and not to harm you, but to give you a hope and a future." God has a plan for you - a perfect one. And He always has what's best in mind for you because He loves you. If you're going through something that seems like more than you can bare, turn to Him and He'll help you carry the load. Jesus says in Matthew 11:28-30, "Come unto me, all ye who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly of heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." Wait for a little while longer. You may not see the reason or the purpose now, but blessing will follow where you patiently wait for the Lord to shine light in the darkness.

Hope on and hope strong, dear reader. Christ be with you.

Right Track

I got the nicest surprise tonight. My dad enacted habits that were long ago forgotten by my family. For the first time since we've been on our own (8 months), we had dinner that was actually together, at the actual table. I can't remember the last time we did that even before it was just us. And even better, when we sat down to eat my dad immediately bowed his head in prayer. I nearly cried for joy as he spoke to our God. And another step in our relationship and life together was taken last night. We actually started doing family devotions together. It was full and a time of learning for both of us. We'd planned for ages to do them, but Dad sort of faded out and forgot about them for a while. And I lived in fear of mentioning it to him because it might be taken wrong. But on Sunday, thanks to some friends encouraging me in my position, I dared to ask about it, and now we are back on track.

I am so thankful. I stand in wonder of the blessings that God is continually heaping on my life. Why would he love me so? How can I ever show my gratitude in full?

True Dependence

True dependence on God is not when you're ready to pray to Him faithfully  for what you want or need, but when you are willing to look to Him continually in every situation.

What God Has Made Beautiful

This poem was written for whoever is struggling with why God has made them the way they are, placed them in the place their in, or what He's going to do with them, as a reminder of His perfect plan and specific purpose for you. Dedicated to D.R. - Never forget that though His work is not finished in you, you are exactly who you are supposed to be. (If you doubt it, then just go read Psalm 139. Among other passages.)

What God Has Made Beautiful
Beautiful Creature.
Beautiful You.
Precious Child.
Perfect Creation.
No mistakes are in what my hands have formed. For I thought of you before the world was wrought.
The stars and the sands in their greatness and number do not compare to what I have done in you.
Intimate Friend.
Unlimited love have I for you.
There is nothing you can do that will tear down or break apart the plan I have for you - just the way you are.
Do not believe for a  moment that I have not considered everything that has happened to you and will happen to you.
Never-ending  is  my wisdom. My  love. My provision.
Do not loose sight of who I Am and you will not lose sight of who you are to me.
For I am called: Counselor, Almighty, King, God, Lord, the Great I Am, but I am also called yours. And you are MINE - with all the strings attached, and all the luggage you carry.
I did not create you with doubt in my heart, or fear of what would be. I created you exactly how I wanted you.
Do you doubt what I have done or the way I have done it?
I created the galaxies, the seas, the mountains, the very place where you stand. I created the creatures: tame and furious. I created even the imaginings of every mind's eye.
And you question how I have made you.
Child. Dear love. Do not toss me aside so easily... I have loved you with an everlasting love.
My adopted one.
My Perfect Creation.
My Precious Child.
My Beautiful Creature.
My Beautiful You.

Here In Chicago

Besides seeing a lot more tall buildings and a lot fewer cows, I've noticed one major difference between home and the Windy City. Here in Chicago, people live a completely different lifestyle. Before I thought it was just fast paced, but seeing it up close, I know there's a little more to it. People here live in a outgoing way that you just don't see in laid-back Idaho, even with the rednecks during a truck race. Vibrancy in life is displayed in such and open way that makes the city an exciting place to be. You can almost feel it. It's interesting because Chicago is known for it's danger level and crime records in that environment, but when I see lives like that - so full and robust and compare it to my own slow, more reserved life, I sometimes wonder what I might be missing out on.

But I think most of you are probably wondering what happened with my aforementioned "meeting the biological family" outing. I had a really good time, as did everyone else I think. We actually spent quite a bit of time with the family and all got along really well. We're all really alike actually. Genes definitely carry more than facial features with them. I think there's a good future there for all of us. My cousins and I could turn out to be good friends.

Dads

Sorry this is late. It was meant to be for Fathers' Day, but this is what happens when you're traveling: things get a little behind sometimes.

A lot of people are angry about what dads are becoming, but that's all the more reason to celebrate the good ones. Maybe if we start appreciating what dads are supposed to be a little more, men will start stepping up and becoming good dads a little more too. You might not have a personal vendetta against dads; maybe you have a great dad that you're thankful for and have accidentally been pulled along with society in forgetting to tell him. Whatever the case, if you have a dad that does anything right and/or sometimes hard by you, get up and thank him for it as soon as you're finished reading. (If your having a hard time thinking of something, here's this):

I want to give a shout-out to dads, cause they're important and amazing too. Dads are responsible for providing for you. They make sure your mom has the food she needs to feed you, and that you have a safe and warm place to sleep at night. They find time to go to work, take care of the house, the yard, and probably the pets too, make sure your mom has everything she needs, and hang out with you. They lead you in your spiritual walk with God, and manage their own. They teach you the skills of life: how to throw and catch, how to go camping, how to fix the plumbing under the sink. If you're his daughter, he teaches you how to be a lady by respecting you and treating you like any gentleman should. If you're his son, he teaches you how to be a man by modeling his treatment of others. He plays games with you, makes sure you get to bed on time, goes to your activities, and sometimes he gives you gifts just to let you know you're special to him. He punishes you to make sure you grow up into a person of character. He smiles and laughs with you, and shares your joy. He cries with you, even if you can't see it on the outside, every time your heart breaks your dad's breaks with you. Your dad is there for you when you need him, and gives you space when you want him to. He knows you, and he likes you.

That's a pretty big list, describing a pretty outstanding dad, and a really hard one to come by. But if your dad is even half that list, I'm telling you, you have a Great dad. Don't under-appreciate him for everything he does. And here's a quick shout out to single dads. You're Amazing! You are both parents to your kids, and you do an amazing job. If you have a single dad, then you have been given an amazing gift. You have a dad who gives up every day to be your parent because he loves you more than anything, and he deserves double the praise. Remember I said that I wanted you to get up and thank your dad for something he does right by you? If for some crazy reason you're still having a hard time saying something specific, then just go thank him for being your dad, period, and tell him that you love him, cause that says it all.

Thank you, Dad! I love you.

Onward To Chicago

I can't believe a whole week has passed already since I left for Ohio. We spent a great week here with my aunt, and now it's time to move on. Next stop: Chicago. I'm doing something scary, and fun. Tomorrow night I'll meet my dad's birth family. Neither of us have ever met anyone in that part of the family face-to-face. It's very new for everyone.

I'm very excited though. My biological family is very classically structured. My grandmother (dad's birth mom) is still around, I have one uncle and two aunts, and three cousins - two of them (boys) are my age within a couple of months, and one (girl) is four years younger than me. It's the family I always wanted growing up. My dad's adopted family is wonderful, and there are a lot of relatives, but they're all very extended and my sister and I are the only children for the last generation. I'm really looking forward to meeting and having some more closely related family around. Tomorrow night we'll all be having dinner somewhere with "authentic Chicago pizza" and meet everyone for the first time. I really hope my cousins and I get along well. It would be so wonderful to have some cousins my own age to mess around with!

May all my conversation and actions be a testimony and uplifting to the LORD.

Reasons To Wear Modest Clothing

Bikini Facts That Will Probably Blow Your Mind

I was very impressed with this young lady's speech. It reminds me of a friend of mine and her business too. I was against girls and women wearing bikinis, and other immodest articles of clothing already, but this just cemented it in. Some of these facts were just appalling.

Reasons To Wear Modest Clothing --
Your Sensitive Side: "Brain scans showed that when men are shown pictures of scantily-clad screwdrivers and hammers lit up. Some men showed zero brain activity in the medial pre-frontal cortex, which is the part of the brain that lights up when one ponders a person's thoughts, feelings, and intentions... It's as if they are reacting to these women as if they are NOT FULLY HUMAN. It's consistent with the idea that they are responding to OBJECTS, not PEOPLE." It is built in to us ladies to want emotional connection with any future male companions. The way we dress definitely affects the way men think about us, and while some may think that it's the "only way to get a man" or some other such thing, and that they will come to a place of love and connection as a natural result of everything else, in reality all they will be doing is turning off the part of the brain that makes it possible. Wearing modest clothing and swimsuits actually makes men more biologically capable of connecting with you.

Empowerment: Modesty gives you status. When you set up boundaries and standards that you are willing to uphold in all situations, you will be seen as someone worth RESPECTING. "You will be seen as an EQUAL, in CONTROL, and be TAKEN SERIOUSLY." If a man doesn't respect you for your modesty, then he is not one you you should want to worry about anyway. "It seems the kind of power [women] are searching for is more attainable when they dress modestly."

It's Fashionable: Most women, especially in the younger crowd think that modesty means "I have to be frumpy, and dumpy, and out of fashion... and I imagine myself sitting alone in my living room, never going on another date ever again, and never getting married." And it's frustrating shopping once having made the decision to dress modestly, especially with swimwear, because everything in the store these days seems to be tailored to those who want to "tell everything about a girl except her mother's maiden name" or something my grandmother would wear. The truth is though, you can dress modestly without sacrificing fashion. The CLASSIEST, most TIMELESS, FASHIONABLE clothing of all time has been modest costumes. Nobody ever remembers the costumes and clothes that make girls look like tramps; they do remember the clothes that make female bodies look like ladies. "Modesty isn't about covering up our bodies because they're bad. Modesty isn't about hiding ourselves. It's about revealing our DIGNITY."

He Said So: The most important reason of all, is that God told us to carry ourselves in a way that would glorify Him. "We were made beautiful in His image and likeness." We shouldn't be afraid to display our femininity and beauty, but that doesn't mean giving our bodies away to others to receive gratification for it. The question isn't will you look BEAUTIFUL or UGLY; the question is how will you use your beauty?

All Things

The truth is I'm a little scared. I've spent the last two years learning that being scared is okay. Now I just have to accept that I'm going to be. I find myself so often caught up in my own mistakes, and whether or not I'm about to make any more, that sometimes I forget that those are okay too. But it doesn't feel okay does it? Mistakes are probably the thing I least look forward to in life. I'm always worried that somehow I'm going to mess up not just my life but also others' lives around me. I take risks, and over-think the consequences. I don't doubt that God will use my broken mess for His beautiful glory, but I'd rather He used my whole and clean self instead. I have to balance the fear and the respect of danger with letting go and letting God handle it by remembering that I can't mess up His plans - No. Matter. What. God's grace flows most freely through the broken places, and my weaknesses uniquely equip me to carry his mercy and message to others. And all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28). For He calls all who love Him, not just the "qualified", whole and clean; He qualifies the called. Sometimes I just have to stop worrying, wondering, and doubting, and have faith that things that will work out: All things, even my messes, because I can't mess up His plans, and He has my best in His deepest heart.

My Nothing For Granted

This morning was a bustle of activity trying to finish packing and make sure we were all prepared for the 30-hour trip to Ohio. During which I experienced something completely new. I'm not sure there's a name for it, but there should be, because I know it's a common condition among the female nation, just usually not my age. Since my parents' divorce, the house my dad and I moved into has become very much my own. I now say, my kitchen, my house, my table, and the like, versus a simple "the". I suppose that taking the title has caused me to take more substantial responsibility for it. In my home I felt the overwhelming urge to make everything perfect for the house sitters that were coming, not leaving a speck of dust out of place; and as I left my darling pets I felt as if I were leaving children: not willing to leave either house nor occupants to anyone else's care but my own. But I did. I overcame it, somewhat, and left, as was my current responsibility to do. It was so bitter-sweet.

The rest of the day has been nothing but wonderful. I've spent it singing with my dad in the car for hours, coming up with names for some of the newest editions to my two-legged family, and enjoying the beautiful scenery that God has been so good to provide in these western states. I've been in a state that I've been missing for a year, I've talked with some people I love dearly, and I've taken nothing for granted. How can I possibly!? What's mine isn't mine and I have no right to it, but I still get to enjoy it. It's such a beautiful life He's given to such a wretched sinner...

Real Talk

It's funny... Okay, actually it's sad. You can be so sure you know what someone is thinking and then find out you're completely wrong. You can build up whole ideas around what you think you know, and then they will crumble around you. I wish more than anything that there could be more honest and real talking communication between people. I wish I had that with people. Friends can lose touch, for a myriad of reasons, so easily now, and no one talks. What ever happened to loyalty? To trust? Did things always happen this fast, or did I just start noticing what was important too late?

All I can say is, don't stop talking. Ever. It's just opening a door to a world of hurt, misunderstandings, and loss. And don't take it for granted because who knows, the last time you talked could have been your last chance. Don't leave anything unsaid, like, "I love you" or "I miss you". And don't say anything you'll wish you hadn't later; you may not get the chance to fix what you broke.

Summer Plans

There was so much joy there. A place removed from the world and centered on God. I remember the mountains, and the cliffs. The red earth that stuck to my boots. The noise of the kitchen and the campers - yelling, singing, and laughing all the time. The peaceful escape on the weekends when the campers had gone home. The constant exposure to God and His word was overwhelming. It was an oasis of both life and faith, where I was both completely removed from all life's issues, and faced them head on at the same time.
I spent my last summer serving as a counselor in the camp I've grown up in. For eight weeks I had a totally different life. A whole new family, routine, and responsibilities. I've never been worked harder or pushed to the limit more in my entire life. But it was the most amazing, freeing, exhilarating, and rewarding thing I've ever done. If I could only share with you that look on a camper's face the moment they started to depend on me and trust me. Or the the glee (and terror) I felt when my new brothers and sisters [staff] decided to go after me with pitchers full of water. Or the quiet moment in the staff lounge, early in the morning as the sun greeted us, when a few of us sat quietly reading out Bibles and spending devoted time with God; not speaking, but saying everything, and I got to watch and and enjoy the moment looking through the steam in my perfect cup of coffee.

So many memories are held in that camp. To be honest, I never liked being a camper much, but as part of the staff I had something really special - timeless. I can't describe it to you. I'll hold it close to me forever.

I had planned for some time to go back to Red Cliff Bible Camp this summer. For a while I felt that God wanted me to go back. A dying woman in my church made her last request of me: that I go back. It was a serious calling. But, I became less and less sure of my resolve to go, and I faced two completely different lives to choose between for the summer. Both good lives, both completely within the realm of God's will; which to choose. I doubted whether I should really return to camp, but this was one of the times I couldn't tell the difference between my own nervousness and the Spirit's voice. I knew that I wasn't going to be able to interpret the whispers in my head. I could have gone on worrying and guessing, and made a decision based on what felt right at the moment I had to make it. I prayed, but I didn't pray for God to clear my head, or make His voice louder; I didn't pray for anything that leave me any way in control of the decision. I prayed, "Lord, please give me no option but your will. Either close the door or leave it open. If it's open I'll know I must go, and if it's closed I'll know I must stay. Your will be done." I waited two days to see if the door would remain open, and by the end of the two days it had been shut.

God's will was clear. He had spoken to me and made me unsure about my decision to go, but I couldn't tell that. However, when I gave it completely to Him and took it out my hands, He took care of it for me and made the way clear. I don't know why I get amazed every time God re-proves His promises true. I know it in my head, but it's something completely different to when it really happens. It refreshes my belief. The whole experience was also a good reminder that my plans are only made by His grace, and if He wills it. He has the ability to change my plans no matter what they are, in an instant, and He'll do it. Yeah, I'm going to miss not going to camp this summer, but I believe it's for the best, because He chose it. I am secure in knowing that if I do follow His leading in whatever plans I make, I'll be blessed, and I won't ever have to worry about my future.

A Heart of Gratefulness in Hardship

My Lord.... Dear Father, 

Thank you. I love you so much. 

Thank you for my pain. 

Thank you for allowing me to feel hurt right now so that I can experience your gift of love even more. 

Thank you for allowing me to feel anything at all. 

Thank you for being completely in control of my life, and being willing to take from me: totally willing to strip anything and everything you need to to draw me closer to you; for loving me that much. 

Thank you for teaching me to appreciate trials as lessons, opportunities, and blessings. 

Thank you for all the things you are going to be able to do with me because I experienced this pain. 

Thank you for my pain for all the reasons I don't know yet. 

Thank you. I am so truly grateful for the many thorns you are allowing to grow along my stem reaching up toward a beautiful rose. 

Thank you, Lord. Thank you. 

I praise you, Lord! I praise you for my pain! I know you give everything for your ultimate glory, so thank you for using your vessel in this way. I praise you for usefulness, and may I glorify you! 

Amen. 

Welcome To the New Blog

My old blog "Liz Raz" has undergone a complete and total makeover. Meet my new blog: Lady Liz. I'm much different than the middle schooler that started a blog years ago. I've grown up, and it was time my blog did too.

I've kept some of the highlight posts from the old blog, mostly recent ones, but this should be very new. I'll be adding a few more accents here and there soon, as I have time, but what you're looking at is essentially it. Please, feel free to give me some feedback; I'd love to hear it.

Never Wonder

I never have to wonder if You know me. 

I never have to wonder if You know my favorite color.
I never wonder if You know my favorite food or flower.
Wonder if You know my favorite songs, or types of books I like to read.I never have to wonder if You know me.


I never have to wonder if You know the history of where I've stood, or where I'd like to stand.
I never wonder if You know my hopes, and dreams, and dreads.
Wonder if You know how I'd like to spend my time if I had the time to spend.I never have to wonder if You know me.


I never have to wonder if You know the real me underneath.
I never wonder if You know whether I'd rather be with people or alone.
Wonder if You know when I'm brave or afraid.


I never have to wonder if You know me.You know when I'm happy, sad, lonely, or overwhelmed; and You step in with me to help me stand strong.
I never wonder if You know whether I'd rather be with people or alone.
Wonder if You know when I'm brave or afraid.

You can tell if I'm really smiling when I'm smiling.When I'd rather cry than act like I'm okay?And You see when I'm left out and ignored. You care. You're never afraid to let the world know it.
I never have to wonder if You know me.

I never have to wonder if You know whether I'd rather wear jeans or dresses.
I never wonder if You know if I like school or play.
Wonder if You know I have a soft side.


I never wonder if You know if I like school or play.
Wonder if You know I have a soft side. 
I never have to wonder if You know me.


I never have to wonder if You know what I'd rather see or what I'd rather hear more than anything else in the world.
I never wonder if You know what I do when I feel like I can't do anything else.
Wonder if You know what makes me happy deep down inside like nothing else does.

I never wonder if You know what I do when I feel like I can't do anything else.
Wonder if You know what makes me happy deep down inside like nothing else does.
I never have to wonder if You know me.

You know me like no other, and I am overwhelmed with your desire to know me every day. 
I know you love me, just the way that I am, because I know you to. 
You accept me totally and yet are never satisfied, knowing that I can be so much better and so much more. 

You know me. All of me. And I never wonder. 

If Anyone Knows Me At All...

I wonder all the time if anyone knows me at all. 

I wonder all the time if anyone knows my favorite color.
I wonder if anyone knows my favorite food or flower.
Wonder if anyone knows my favorite songs, or types of books I like to read.
I wonder all the time if anyone knows me at all. 

I wonder all the time if anyone knows the history of where I've stood, or where I'd like to stand.
I wonder if anyone knows my hopes, and dreams, and dreads.
Wonder if anyone knows how I'd like to spend my time if I had the time to spend.
I wonder all the time if anyone knows me at all.

I wonder all the time if anyone knows the real me underneath. Even if they think they do, do they?
I wonder if anyone knows if I'd rather be with people or alone.
Wonder if anyone knows if I'm brave or afraid. Afraid of them.
I wonder all the time if anyone knows me at all. 

Do they know when I'm happy, sad, lonely, or overwhelmed; and if they did, would they step in with me to help me stand strong?
Can anyone tell if I'm really smiling when I'm smiling?
Do you know when I'd rather cry than act like I'm okay?
Does anyone see when I'm left out and ignored? Do they care? If they do, why are they afraid to say something?

I wonder all the time if anyone knows me at all.

I wonder all the time if anyone knows if I'd rather wear jeans or dresses.
I wonder if anyone knows if I like school or play.
Wonder if anyone knows I have a soft side.
I wonder all the time if anyone knows me at all. 

I wonder all the time if anyone knows what I'd rather see or what I'd rather hear more than anything else in the world.
I wonder if anyone knows what I do when I feel like I can't do anything else.
Wonder if anyone knows what makes me happy deep down inside like nothing else does.
I wonder all the time if anyone knows me at all.

And sometimes I wonder if anyone was brave enough to tell me if they did, or to risk guessing anyway, and tell me...
If anyone knows me at all. 

He Conquered Death, Made A Promise, and I Believe! Happy Easter Everyone!

I have a birthday! Tomorrow, I will have been a new creature for 7 years. There's something special about getting saved on Easter Sunday. I share an anniversary with someone for something great. It's the best day in the world to remember your spiritual birth; simultaneously you're remembering how it's possible.

Let me tell you something about me. I'm often indecisive. Even if I make a decision I think about all the what ifs and wonder later if I really should have made it or not. Now let me tell you something about being saved. Salvation: letting Christ be a part of my life and the whole of my heart: accepting His gift: choosing my Lord over myself: is the only decision I've never wanted to turn back on. Not once have I wondered if I really should have made that decision, or pondered lustfully the life I would have had if I didn't. I know, more securely than with any other I'll ever make, that I made the right decision. I chose the right path. And, oh! I want to rejoice! You know what? I think I will.

You want to know what happened to me when I got saved? How I let myself get so brainwashed that I believe I couldn't survive without trusting in an invisible, all powerful, all knowing, everywhere-all the time God? Listen up!!

You know what happened? God was creative, and imaginative, and beautiful, so He wanted to create something else that was creative, imaginative, and beautiful, that would glorify Him by displaying His handy-work. So He created humans, and He loved them with a love that nothing else has or will ever compare to. He gave them everything they could desire, and made their lives perfect. He gave them power over everything else He created, He gave them the ability to build, create and grow, they lived in the perfect home, and they got to walk and talk with Him whenever they wanted. He gave them everything.

But what happened? They rejected Him. They rejected all God's promises and goodness for satisfying themselves. God should have destroyed them, and started over. There was no reason He should want any more to do with such selfish people, but He loved them too much. He let them live, and while they didn't have all the blessings of their original home and were not allowed to see Him anymore,

He let them live in the world that, even though it was cursed, was beautiful and abounded in blessing.
And he never completely left them.
AND He promised that one day He would give a way for them to come back to Him.

Generation after generation, years upon years, God walked with their descendants. He taught them, fought for them, lead them, loved them, and cared for them. And generation after generation, year upon year, they rejected him, even though every time they did they found out that they really should have listened to Him. God loved them, and wanted them to return to Him, and nothing they did could stop Him from loving them or change His mind.

So you know what He did next? He honored His promise. Jesus came to earth to be with His unruly people, to spend time with them, heal them, and teach them. God came in the flesh to be literally with His people again. He finally told them all what they had to do to escape the sin-cursed world they lived in forever! You know what it was? Believe. All they had to do was believe in Him and they could escape and be with Him forever.

And what happened? They killed Him for it. They didn't just kill Him. They tortured Him. Humiliated the King of Kings that loved them more than anything else. They didn't want to give up making themselves happy 'right now' to let God make the happy forever.

I killed Him.
I rejected Him.
I tortured Him.
I didn't want to belong to God; I wanted to belong to myself! My heart did all these things.

But it wasn't over! The grave couldn't hold Him. Death couldn't keep Him. He rose from the dead victorious!

And more than that, He said that the offer still stood. That even though I'd done all those things to Him, He still loved me too much, and if I only confess my wrong and believe in Him, I didn't have to do anything, He would still freely give me eternal life away from the curse if I wanted it because He loved me too much to let me go without a way to come back to Him. How could He offer grace like that to save a wretch like me!? I would be nuts to not accept an offer like that.

So I did.

But wait! There is STILL MORE! Not only did he offer me: immortality, perfection, everlasting love, and pardon for every crime I'd ever committed and would commit in the future, He promised that He was going to come back again, and next time He'd put the curse to an end forever. He'd conquer it in war so that no one would ever suffer it again, and if I accepted Him, I'd rejoice in victory on the winning side!

I celebrate Easter because I know He conquered death and still offered me a promise, and because I'm looking forward to His return! I celebrate my Salvation Birthday because I know my future's secure in that promise, and because every day I have HOPE and will never wonder or be alone again.

You want to know what makes me think I know all that's really true and He really exists?

Even if you couldn't see proof every single place you look in what He's created; even if you couldn't see the evidence in my life that I'm not living for myself, I have purpose, and peace and joy beyond anything you could possibly imagine; let me tell you this: I know God exist's because He lives inside my heart! And I hear His voice every day! He wrote me a special love letter that never changes and never get's old that I can read whenever I want!

I lived for myself and was never satisfied. I live for Christ and can only desire less. I live out of gratefulness for a gift that I could never imagine giving, that I could never pay for, and want to bring Glory to Him for it every single microscopic moment of every single day!

If I am brainwashed, it is only by the truth. If I am insane it is only because I know the right choice and will not stray from it.

So here it is: I AM a Christian. I identify with Christ, and not the things of this world. I believe the BIBLE: Every Word In It. I believe the person of Jesus Messiah is living, holy, GOD, and I live for Him. I KNOW that He came to earth as a man, lived my life, with my sorrows, my happiness, my love, and my hate, and that He died to save me, a sinner, so that I could be FREE of sin forever and Live as He Lives. 

HALLELUJAH! AMEN!

Happy Birthday to me! I've been saved 7 years. 

And My Whole Being Rejoices...

Dear Bloggers,

I can honestly say that life could not be busier or more wonderful. I have gone through the last several months feeling like a prisoner of my own mind. I guess it's on the extreme end of what most people refer to as the "teenager identity crisis". I never quite understood that, but believe me I know now. But I don't want to talk about that now. I suppose I will sometime, now just isn't that time. It's not precisely that I know exactly who I am, but I seem to have gotten some grasp of it finally, which, I won't lie, gives some new-found security. I have felt in the last couple weeks like a burden has been lifted that has been there a very long time. So long, that I had accepted it and forgotten it was even there. It's not just that identity has been found, but so many things have brightened. Not specifically that events have happened, no; God has retaken a hold of my heart in a way that I haven't felt in a long time. I'm not anywhere near where I should be, or where I want to be, but I'm so much closer than before. And I feel whole. Circumstances that I don't like, and people that drive crazy haven't changed, but I have. My whole perspective has. Psalm 16:9, "Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices!" I am glad. 

So, to life: My life is a bustle of activity. Which, to my deepest regret, is the reason that there have been months between each post recently. But I do love it. I study, I play sports and dance, I attempt to do some gardening, I take pictures and volunteer with kindergartners. Above all, I spend time with my God. There are several other things that I'd like to be doing, but no matter, I can say that my life is complete. 

My dad and I argue, sure, but I feel that our relationship grows every day. He's learning how to be a dad, and I'm learning how to be a daughter. Oh that is a lovely word! Daughter. I never much felt like one, but in the last 6 months I've been able to fill the role more and more each day. I always imagined, but truthfully I never knew in the slightest how absolutely Wonderful it feels to be one. 

My school is still very behind from my first semester setback, but I am making progress on catching it back up, and hopefully with the support of the people around me, I can reach my goal and finish by the end of May where I should. 

Ultimate Frisbee and dancing have given me the opportunity to exercise and the social outlet I've desired for so long. True, I get beat up more than my share, but between you and me, that's one of the parts I like most: the unpredictability and the chance of (somewhat minor) injury is what keeps things interesting and exciting. 

As spring goes on I have an increasing desire to garden a little. A few flowers here and there, and some herbs in the window sill. Time is a constant barrier, and I haven't done much of it before, but I remain both optimistic and determined to get it done. It's a good thing I am good with directions though, or this would most likely turn out to be a mess. 

Photography become more enthralling and exciting with every passing shutter. I am currently working on the biggest project I've ever done that will turn out to be about 100 inches across and 30 high. It's a very large panoramic, pieced together by hundreds of images. I've already spent a week working on it, longer than any single project before, and I hope to be done in the next four days. 

In the meantime, my kindergarten class is budding with romance. I'll set your minds at ease right off; the teachers and I don't have any desire to encourage this behavior and are trying to put a stop to it where we can, but it is so enjoyable to watch them! They really have no idea what the words mean, so it's funny to watch them as they test the waters of "boyfriends" and "girlfriends", which to them means "You're a girl, and I'm a boy, and we're friends." The occasional engagement or marriage will occur, I get to see "blank loves blank" written on the name lines, and other random, but absolutely hysterical moments will arise concerning our class of young lovebirds. The best part of the class though is what I am privileged to see every 11:30 a.m. when I walk through the door: the excited faces that light up and say "Miss Sarah!" and run quickly up to hug me. 

It is easy for me to pick out all the bad things in my life, for there are many, and say "my life is bad", or subsequently, pull out all the good and wonderful things, for there are also many, and say "my life is good". But listen, my life is neither good nor bad. It is simply life, with all it's ups and downs, just like anyone else's; only mine is directed by a beautiful Savior. I will post back and forth on this blog about pains or joys, and find myself completely caught up in however I feel at those moments; but, as I go through life, struggling over what to do for school and college for next year, what dress to put on in the morning, or whether to rescue some baby ducklings: whatever may arise, I want sincerely to keep it all in perspective, as I desire for you to do as well. Trusting my Lord no matter what. 

Living in the Glory of Our Lord Today!
Liz 

Perfect Like

You know what? Sometimes I get tired of hearing people say that God loves me. It's true I know, but sometimes when I'm really tired and worn out I think something like, Mom always said "You need to love your (brother)/sister." And what did that love look like? Sure I love my sister; she's my sister - I love her. I would give my life for her, but that love still isn't the kind of love that I want to think about when I'm thinking of God. I don't want to think of God loving me enough to die for me, but really only putting up with me most of the time.

I heard recently that when you get tired of hearing that God loves you (how ever true), you should think that God likes you. It's really different when someone comes up to you and genuinely says, "Hey, you know, I really like you." I like you; I like who you are; I like what you do; I like you from the inside out. I like you. In the same way it's different to me when I think of God saying to me, "Hey, I really like you, Liz." That's a good feeling. And I know it's true. I know that God does love me too, and His love is perfect and much deeper than the human love I'm comparing to, but that doesn't stop me from doing it sometimes. I bet you do it too. So the next time you start feeling tired of hearing people say that God loves you, remember: God likes you a lot.

Say Something

I just got home from another funeral. Yes, it seems that I am surrounded by a lot of that these days. It was beautiful, and somehow it helped, but I feel more loss than I did before. The reality of people missing in my life sinks in deeper every day. It's hard...

But, that said, the funeral was lovely. I met many people who shared similar joys and sorrows in our beloved Micah. I cried a little; I laughed a little. The service was beautiful, focused on God and the beauty of the earthly life left behind. The number of lives touched was astronomical to me, and each one that came enjoyed sharing how with each other during the amazingly-well-supplied-for food fellowship. There were flowers and pictures everywhere, and the hand-crafted medieval armor that dear Micah had painstakingly worked on with such care for so long. I am consistently amazed at the lives he has touched and changed. How could a simple, fourteen year old boy make such a difference to so many, and deeply affect everyone who met him, no matter how long or short of a time they knew him? How does a regular kid say something that big with his life?

Am I living with that kind of a testimony? When people meet me, are they touched? Are their lives better for having known me? Or am I just another person? Or worse, am I someone who affects other's lives negatively?

I want to pay tribute to this amazing, godly, young boy, but I don't really know how. I know that if you knew him and/or his family that you have probably been involved in helping them with giving memories of Micah. I want to open up another forum though. I'd like if you knew Micah to share something about him in the comments below. A memory, or a characteristic; you choose. Or maybe you didn't that well, but you'd like to know something. Ask questions about him. Let us talk about him. Say something about Micah. Say something to show how big his life and his heart was.

You're Only Here For Your Life

I just had my birthday. And really, it was the best birthday I've ever had. I'm not sure how that ended up happening, but it was incredible and I'm not going to question or spoil it. It was wonderful; my birthday was not forgotten, but there was no huge focus on me for the first time ever: it was a perfect balance, just the way I like it. In the morning I went to school, and my classes turned out awesome. I went to volunteer at the elementary school, and my kindergarten class threw me a surprise birthday party! (Best party I've ever been to). They showered me with love and excitement. Then I went to work and my boss gave me a present, fussed about me a lot, and hardly let me get any work done. I was wished happy birthday by more people than ever, and was showered with cards that were just perfect for me. In the evening I went dancing. My birthday fell on a the first dancing night in over a month! I was asked to dance every single dance (never happens) and had a huge blast. It was perfect. And after the dancing and frisbee were over, someone decided to embarrass me and get everyone to surround me singing me my birthday song. (I can't thank them enough.) The joy of yesterday has lasted into today. Now, this really has nothing to do with the point of my post, but I had to share my awesome day with someone everyone. :) So, here's the real post:

I turned seventeen yesterday, but it might as well have been my sweet sixteen. Hold the phones, everyone! We're moving way too fast here. Right? I mean, I was just a tot a year or two ago. How could this have happened without me knowing?

Now that's all in fun, but seriously, what on earth happened? They say time passes faster the older you get, and every year that phrase takes new meaning for me. It's the truth. The thing is though, I start to realize something else too. Even though time seems to have gone by really fast, it feels like I've been around for a while: exhaustingly long sometimes. Yet I know that in the span of a life seventeen years really isn't that long. Assuming I live a full, average life, that means I have to live another 60 years; 60 years working, learning, stuffing memories into my brain, etc. How exhausting. That's a long time, to make a tired mind work. Not to mention that with it will come pains and aches that are yet unknown to me (I know, hard to believe a frisbee player isn't aware of something that can hurt), physical and mental failure, and other things. Even though time seems to pass faster as we get older, it also seems to have lasted longer. The longer I'm here, the easier it is to think that the rest of my life could... well, take a while. But really, think about how little time I have to do everything I'm supposed to do. I'm supposed to live a testimony. I'm supposed to show the likeness of God; who came as a man to earth, to live the life nobody else could live. He did things that are impossible to us, and yet I am supposed to show His example in only these few years that I have to live on earth. How am I supposed to do that? I have to show perfection. I have to show love. I have to show a good example; no, a great example. I have to show something that is is beyond my comprehension, let alone my reach, and we only have a few years to do it. Yet I think my life is so long, when I really have no time at all.

That's not even counting the things we want to do. Some have aspirations of skydiving, or mountain climbing, or going on adventures. How're we supposed to fit that in on top of living as a testimony? Thank goodness we don't have to do it alone, and that Jesus still mediates for us when we mess up.

I think it's important that we recognize these things: The Psalmist says,

“Show me, O LORD, my life’s end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting is my life. You have made my days a mere handbreadth; the span of my years is as nothing before you. Each man’s life is but a breath. Psalm 39:4-5

Even if you live a very long time, one hundred years, a full life-span, your life is only a speck on the timeline in the span of eternity; or even just the span of earthly history. It's so small; we're only here for a little while. In the end we only have our lives to live. You have one chance to live, and one chance to live right. This world is not our home; we're only passing through, but we are called to live the Christ-like, God-led life while we are here. You're only here for your life, so take the chance to live your life right while you still have it.

So I want to live. I want to live to the fullest. I want to live like Christ wants me to; and I want to remember to challenge myself every day to do it. Most importantly though, I want to remember to lean openly on my Lord to do it. I hope you do the same. Have a wonderful, God-led / filled day!

A Letter To The Ones Like Me

You know my experiences, or some of them. I know what it is like to have those flashbacks, to have those feelings of fear, and betrayal, and longing for everything to be over, at any cost. I know you know Jesus and He is in your heart, so I know you will understand what I mean. When I wanted to take my life I knew that it would be a small price for the life I would be gaining. I mean, can you imagine? Giving up all the pain, the memories, the hurt, and anger, the loneliness, and the terrible torture of living every day the way I was and always had, for an eternity of perfect life with love and security. A mere moment of pain, for bliss forever. But for so long I didn't truly understand what the cost was. I considered the mortal costs of my decision, the things I and others would experience here in this life, but I didn't consider the eternal costs. 

You see, when I sat down to end my life, ready, I saw an image in my mind, stronger than any flashback. It was the most terrible thing I had ever seen. I woke up in heaven and I saw Jesus for the first time. I don't remember some things, like a face, but I remember what happened, and how I felt. I wanted to run up and embrace Him, be safe and secure in His arms as I had longed to be for so long, even though I trembled in His presence. I went to Him, and looked up into His face. I wish I could remember! I wish I could remember what that face looked like. All I know is that it was beautiful. And would have been the most glorious thing I had ever seen if not for this: I do remember what that face said, what it meant when I saw it; it was a combination of deep love and compassion, and the most disappointment I can ever remember seeing. 

Do you understand? My God, my Lord, my love, who I'd done everything for, and hoped and longed more than anything for, who forgave all my wretched sins daily, and pardoned my deepest woe, He was disappointed in me. And even if the look He gave me had only lasted for a fraction of a second so small it cannot be measured, it felt like an eternity, and I knew that it would last with me for eternity. I would never forget it, and I suppose I never will now. How could I bear to live eternally in Paradise knowing that what I did to get there cost me the most perfect part, the part I hoped for more than anything else: God saying "Well done, my good and faithful servant." and seeing His face full of joy for welcoming me finally home? How could I bear to live eternity always remembering that face; having joy and peace and perfection, but having that face always there in the back of my mind? Knowing, my actions were never what He would have chosen for me. 

I'm not claiming to have had any vision or supernatural experience, but I know those thoughts were not my own. I was ready, and I was going to take my life beyond a shadow of a doubt. God put those thoughts in my head to show me the reality of the choice I was making. 

But I'm sure you already know that's not the path God would choose for you, which is why you've taken steps to prevent that from happening and protect yourself. But all the cages, covers and locks, all the company, and friends, and love from earthly creations will never be enough to turn your mind on itself and become someone who would never pick up a weapon, situation, or pill with the intent of personal harm again. That's something that has to happen because you chose to change your mind, because you encountered the Truth of God that directly applied to you the way it couldn't to anyone else. It may come from a person. It may come from a Bible verse. It may even come from a computer screen. It could come or start to come from anywhere, depending on who you are. You just have to be listening and be ready to do the hardest thing of all, the first step to a better life: Put the weapon down. For good. 

Perhaps you even know all that though. So let me encourage you this way. There are people that love and care about you, and no person or persons who have hurt or damaged you in the past, or may do so in the future will ever change that. These people would break inside if you made that choice. You have friends and family who would do anything for you if you called on them. Don't ever forget that. In the moments when you think you have nothing that makes living through pain worth it, think of those people, think of how they love you and live for them. So maybe sometimes you can't remember them, maybe sometimes the pain is too strong to think of a single name, or maybe I'm way off the bat and there really isn't anyone on this earth who you think cares about you. So what? I can tell you someone that I can guarantee loves you more than anything, and I can prove it because He told me, and He told you too. God said in His word that He knew you before you were even thought of by anyone on earth. He said he thought of you before time ever came to be. He wove you into the beautiful tapestry that is your life and did it at exactly the right time, and He did that for every person that has both loved and hated you too. He placed you into the lives of others and others into your life exactly when He meant to, and exactly when He knew would be best for you. He didn’t give you the life that would be easiest for you, He gave you the life He knew you needed. Even if you don’t see how that could possibly be, it’s true. He put you in the life that would shape you into the person that He wanted you to become, with the opportunity to reach your fullest potential, and so that your life could affect the lives of others for the same purpose. You may know that you are no accident, but you need to know that your life isn't an accident either. It may not be easy, but it is perfect for you. You're worried about what you think may happen to you if you don't take your life, but if you're truly trusting God and truly believe that His plans are perfect then you'll know that your life was meant to be as it is, and can respond to the challenges you're faced with confidently in the strength of Jesus Christ, without fear of the future. 

I know this is really long, but it's what was laid on my heart to tell you. I'm praying for you, and I know that God is going to take care of you. 

Keep Trusting In and Leaning On Him, 

Liz

Words of Encouragement and Comfort from Jerimiah

From Lamentations 3

In the midst of suffering, of anger, bitterness, and sorrow, a man cries out to God, wondering what the point of his life has been. A life of service to the One he called King and turned to for everything, in which suffered humiliation, oppression, rejection, and an ignorant, arrogant people turned their backs on him, all because he had followed the directions of his Lord.

The cries sourced in the fact that even after devoting the whole of his heart to this God, the people he had tried to reach for 40 years were suffering in captivity: conquered as they hadn't been for countless generations. But then in all the crying that reached up from his broken heart, he remembered something; something about who the God was that he was serving, and he speaks these words of comfort to encourage his failing heart: words of truth that God had revealed to him all of those 40 years and more. 

vs. 21-26

This I recall to my mind, therefore I have hope. 

It is of the LORD's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. 

They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness. 

The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefor I will hope in him. 

The LORD is good unto him that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him. 

It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD. 

Though the circumstances around him failed him, and he knew the wrath of God was strong, he also remembered that it would not last forever. His God of unending mercy would soon lift his hand. 

vs. 31-33 

For the LORD will not cast off for ever: 

But though he cause grief, yet will he have compassion according to the multitude of his mercies. 

For he doth not afflict willingly nor grieve the children of men. 

The perfect promises of the LORD (Yahweh) still remained, and there was no need to fear or doubt. They promises of God would still come to pass. El Shaddai would take care of him and all his needs, and he would forget the people. He would redeem them. Even if they had to endure this suffering now, there would be no reason to ever doubt the presence and love of their God. 

  

vs. 57-58 

Thou drewest near in the days that I called upon thee: thou saidst, Fear not. 

O Lord, thou hast pleaded the causes of my soul; thou hast redeemed my life. 

The day their hearts were right toward Him again, the Almighty would lift his wrath. 

A Sad But Joyful Day

I just went to a funeral; my first funeral. The funeral was for the greatest lady I have ever known. She was remarkable in nearly every way possible, and her faith in Christ was stronger than I've ever seen in anyone: I am convinced that it was at least as large as a mustard seed. I loved this lady. The longer she is gone, the more I realize it. She was a mentor and a friend to me.

The funeral was very hard for me. I don't know how many times I nearly burst into tears, yet several did escape down my cheek. With each day that passes I miss her more. I feel that things were cut short; I didn't get to say goodbye, and I have a few regrets. It was a beautiful funeral. As she said before she died it was "about God, not about me". Even in death her testimony of Christ rings out. There were so many people that were there to rejoice in her life, both past and the new life she enjoys with God in Heaven, her Adonai Jehovah, now. She touched the lives of so many, of everyone who ever new her. There were many songs sung and scriptures read. Many words and deeds pointing to her Savior. Sorrow is deep and loneliness cuts hard, but there is a joy that's deeper. I miss her very much, and even though I wish she was not gone, I would not for a moment desire to call her back from where she is now. She is pain, sin, disease, and sorrow- free, dancing and singing in worship and joy before her Heavenly Father and King. I miss her, but I rejoice with her, and I know, though it may be a long while before I do, I will see her again, and when I do it will be as though no time had passed at all.

A Phone, A Snow, and A Smile

An interesting thing happened to me this evening. This whole "having a dad" thing is new to me, and this "being a dad" thing is new to him. Sometimes things can be a little awkward and funny, like when he talks to me in the voice you use when speaking to small children, but other times it can be pretty wonderful.

Dad accidentally took my phone with him to work instead of his own; I had to go pick it up before I went to a meeting at work. It snowed last night and it really wasn't safe driving. The roads were bad, the traffic was terrible, I was running behind because I had been trying to get ready for my meeting... anyway, I was about 15 minutes later than I told my dad I was going to meet him to pick up the phone. When I got there, to the outer edge of the parking lot away from the building, before I had even pulled in, I saw my dad walking out toward my car. I pulled over. When he saw my car and realized it was me I saw him let out a long breath that looked a little annoyed and shake his head to the ground. I was sure he was going to scold me for being late because I had pulled him away from his meetings so long; I braced myself. When he arrived at my window he handed me my phone and said, "I was just coming out to my car to go look for you. I thought you might have been in an accident." It didn't show on his face, but I could sense his relief.

As I pulled away carefully in my car a big smile crept on my face. Somehow it filled me with a giggly kind of happiness. For some unknown reason it was nice to have a Dad that worried about me; and I smiled all the way to work.

There Will Be A Day

Many things have happened to me. Many good, many bad. I’ve learned not to keep score, for I have found that there is an endless way of making the score come out however it suites me at the time, and though I would like things to be as wonderful and perfect as possible, I cannot seem to allow myself that happiness, and the score will always turn out at odds with “poor me”.

I've been struck with this thought recently: Those who have never experienced great pain, those who have never been thrust to their knees, they cannot say how good it is to be close to the Lord. We who have pasts, ugly pasts that make us tremble to even think about let alone share with any part of the world, we know true dependence on God, and how *wonderful* it is to be His, especially when we need Him. Who can appreciate anything that isn't needed? If we had perfect lives, then we wouldn't need God. How wonderful that they are not perfect, and we do need our Father, and we rejoice when He leans down to carry us in our need. We can give thanks for the pain, the hurt, the agony, the betrayal, the trials of life, because thanks to them we can feel closer to God than ever. We know very well that we have someone we can depend on.

I am reminded of pain I have experienced over the years; the ones that ate at my soul. And I think back to how I got through them. I wonder how I could have possibly ever gotten through them. I know. God. He was always there, and He gave me joy, even in my my great and many sorrows. I wanted to share the thought with you. Even though it may kill me to be in the fire, I may count it as a privilege to be refined. The more refining I go through, the more fire I am exposed to, how much purer gold will I be when I come through? I am strengthened and purified through the fire and pain in God's grace to me, His servant.

I want to encourage you, reader; my friends. I know several people right now who are experiencing heavy trials. You have friends and family members in the hospital: sick, and dying. You have medical problems of your own that cause you daily struggle. You have friends change before your eyes in ways that you could never have imagined. You seek comfort and feel you are alone... Let me remind you that you are not alone, and when the world falls before you turn to the One who keeps it turning on beneath you. He is the ultimate healer, and if He does not heal the bodies of your loved ones He will heal your aching hearts. But know this also: there will be a day! This world is not our home; we're just passing through. No more pain. No more sorrows. No more fears. No more tears. No more unsure tomorrows. No more dying of the body. No more dying of the soul. Just the Savior, oh and His sweet mercies that will never end. There will be a day! Oh, friend, let your pain bring you hope and peace and happiness, if only because it is a reminder of the joy that is to come. There will be a day, and we will stand before Him, amazed in His presence, with Him until beyond the end of time...