Summer Plans

There was so much joy there. A place removed from the world and centered on God. I remember the mountains, and the cliffs. The red earth that stuck to my boots. The noise of the kitchen and the campers - yelling, singing, and laughing all the time. The peaceful escape on the weekends when the campers had gone home. The constant exposure to God and His word was overwhelming. It was an oasis of both life and faith, where I was both completely removed from all life's issues, and faced them head on at the same time.
I spent my last summer serving as a counselor in the camp I've grown up in. For eight weeks I had a totally different life. A whole new family, routine, and responsibilities. I've never been worked harder or pushed to the limit more in my entire life. But it was the most amazing, freeing, exhilarating, and rewarding thing I've ever done. If I could only share with you that look on a camper's face the moment they started to depend on me and trust me. Or the the glee (and terror) I felt when my new brothers and sisters [staff] decided to go after me with pitchers full of water. Or the quiet moment in the staff lounge, early in the morning as the sun greeted us, when a few of us sat quietly reading out Bibles and spending devoted time with God; not speaking, but saying everything, and I got to watch and and enjoy the moment looking through the steam in my perfect cup of coffee.

So many memories are held in that camp. To be honest, I never liked being a camper much, but as part of the staff I had something really special - timeless. I can't describe it to you. I'll hold it close to me forever.

I had planned for some time to go back to Red Cliff Bible Camp this summer. For a while I felt that God wanted me to go back. A dying woman in my church made her last request of me: that I go back. It was a serious calling. But, I became less and less sure of my resolve to go, and I faced two completely different lives to choose between for the summer. Both good lives, both completely within the realm of God's will; which to choose. I doubted whether I should really return to camp, but this was one of the times I couldn't tell the difference between my own nervousness and the Spirit's voice. I knew that I wasn't going to be able to interpret the whispers in my head. I could have gone on worrying and guessing, and made a decision based on what felt right at the moment I had to make it. I prayed, but I didn't pray for God to clear my head, or make His voice louder; I didn't pray for anything that leave me any way in control of the decision. I prayed, "Lord, please give me no option but your will. Either close the door or leave it open. If it's open I'll know I must go, and if it's closed I'll know I must stay. Your will be done." I waited two days to see if the door would remain open, and by the end of the two days it had been shut.

God's will was clear. He had spoken to me and made me unsure about my decision to go, but I couldn't tell that. However, when I gave it completely to Him and took it out my hands, He took care of it for me and made the way clear. I don't know why I get amazed every time God re-proves His promises true. I know it in my head, but it's something completely different to when it really happens. It refreshes my belief. The whole experience was also a good reminder that my plans are only made by His grace, and if He wills it. He has the ability to change my plans no matter what they are, in an instant, and He'll do it. Yeah, I'm going to miss not going to camp this summer, but I believe it's for the best, because He chose it. I am secure in knowing that if I do follow His leading in whatever plans I make, I'll be blessed, and I won't ever have to worry about my future.