And My Whole Being Rejoices...

Dear Bloggers,

I can honestly say that life could not be busier or more wonderful. I have gone through the last several months feeling like a prisoner of my own mind. I guess it's on the extreme end of what most people refer to as the "teenager identity crisis". I never quite understood that, but believe me I know now. But I don't want to talk about that now. I suppose I will sometime, now just isn't that time. It's not precisely that I know exactly who I am, but I seem to have gotten some grasp of it finally, which, I won't lie, gives some new-found security. I have felt in the last couple weeks like a burden has been lifted that has been there a very long time. So long, that I had accepted it and forgotten it was even there. It's not just that identity has been found, but so many things have brightened. Not specifically that events have happened, no; God has retaken a hold of my heart in a way that I haven't felt in a long time. I'm not anywhere near where I should be, or where I want to be, but I'm so much closer than before. And I feel whole. Circumstances that I don't like, and people that drive crazy haven't changed, but I have. My whole perspective has. Psalm 16:9, "Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices!" I am glad. 

So, to life: My life is a bustle of activity. Which, to my deepest regret, is the reason that there have been months between each post recently. But I do love it. I study, I play sports and dance, I attempt to do some gardening, I take pictures and volunteer with kindergartners. Above all, I spend time with my God. There are several other things that I'd like to be doing, but no matter, I can say that my life is complete. 

My dad and I argue, sure, but I feel that our relationship grows every day. He's learning how to be a dad, and I'm learning how to be a daughter. Oh that is a lovely word! Daughter. I never much felt like one, but in the last 6 months I've been able to fill the role more and more each day. I always imagined, but truthfully I never knew in the slightest how absolutely Wonderful it feels to be one. 

My school is still very behind from my first semester setback, but I am making progress on catching it back up, and hopefully with the support of the people around me, I can reach my goal and finish by the end of May where I should. 

Ultimate Frisbee and dancing have given me the opportunity to exercise and the social outlet I've desired for so long. True, I get beat up more than my share, but between you and me, that's one of the parts I like most: the unpredictability and the chance of (somewhat minor) injury is what keeps things interesting and exciting. 

As spring goes on I have an increasing desire to garden a little. A few flowers here and there, and some herbs in the window sill. Time is a constant barrier, and I haven't done much of it before, but I remain both optimistic and determined to get it done. It's a good thing I am good with directions though, or this would most likely turn out to be a mess. 

Photography become more enthralling and exciting with every passing shutter. I am currently working on the biggest project I've ever done that will turn out to be about 100 inches across and 30 high. It's a very large panoramic, pieced together by hundreds of images. I've already spent a week working on it, longer than any single project before, and I hope to be done in the next four days. 

In the meantime, my kindergarten class is budding with romance. I'll set your minds at ease right off; the teachers and I don't have any desire to encourage this behavior and are trying to put a stop to it where we can, but it is so enjoyable to watch them! They really have no idea what the words mean, so it's funny to watch them as they test the waters of "boyfriends" and "girlfriends", which to them means "You're a girl, and I'm a boy, and we're friends." The occasional engagement or marriage will occur, I get to see "blank loves blank" written on the name lines, and other random, but absolutely hysterical moments will arise concerning our class of young lovebirds. The best part of the class though is what I am privileged to see every 11:30 a.m. when I walk through the door: the excited faces that light up and say "Miss Sarah!" and run quickly up to hug me. 

It is easy for me to pick out all the bad things in my life, for there are many, and say "my life is bad", or subsequently, pull out all the good and wonderful things, for there are also many, and say "my life is good". But listen, my life is neither good nor bad. It is simply life, with all it's ups and downs, just like anyone else's; only mine is directed by a beautiful Savior. I will post back and forth on this blog about pains or joys, and find myself completely caught up in however I feel at those moments; but, as I go through life, struggling over what to do for school and college for next year, what dress to put on in the morning, or whether to rescue some baby ducklings: whatever may arise, I want sincerely to keep it all in perspective, as I desire for you to do as well. Trusting my Lord no matter what. 

Living in the Glory of Our Lord Today!
Liz