The Problem With Being Honorable

The problem with being honorable and respectable is that you're trustworthy, and when you're trustworthy, people tell you things. Often it is their deepest, darkest parts, the secrets they hold closest to themselves, that they don't tell anyone else, because no one else is trustworthy. And the problem with that, is that you now hold everyone's secrets. You take a little piece of everyone's burdens and end up multiplying your own. But then, you cannot share those burdens with anyone else to lighten the load, or else you lose your honor and respectability, and no one will trust you. (All or None) And then there are the "family secrets", when all of them carry weight that could not be more personal than the secrets you hold yourself; and your burden increases again. So then, I find myself, whenever feeling joy, with tears soon following; because I am reminded so quickly of the fact that it cannot last (until eternity).

You have one of those rare moments that are wonderful. Like a late night, on your own, with a couple people you like to be around, whom you could even call friends, and you're talking; just talking. And you're at peace. You're having fun. And then it is time to go home, and instantly, like the crash of a wave against the rocks, you are reminded of the burdens you carry, because the night is over, and you feel a tremendous loss over the simple fact of leaving your friends. And as you drive away, yet home - toward the secrets and the burdens, the tears begin to fall....

I think I might now understand something a little more now. I think I may have a better idea, g'zillionth fraction of the something Jesus went through. When the Christ hung there on the cross, to pay the price, He took on "the weight of the world"; the sin, the secrets, the burdens. And even knowing the end, His tears also began to fall...