Past; Pain

So, the question is posed: "How do you let go of of a hurtful past?"

Reader,
I do not know you; or perhaps, I do. The difference is none. You may, or may not struggle with a past that haunts you. Haunt is a perfect word to describe that feeling, huh? (Definition: to recur persistently to the consciousness of; to remain with (persistently) disturb or distress; to cause to anxiety; trouble; worry.) Your past was your present; and in that present you were hurt, in some way. Maybe more than once. Maybe not much at all. The difference, again, is none. To you, at the time, it hurt you, specifically, and in just the right way that it would hurt you most of all... That's a hard reality. What do you do with that??? Do you build up walls and let nobody in, to make sure it doesn't happen again? Do you become reckless with yourself, and start causing other people pain to make up for your loss? Do you move on, pretending it never happened? What do you do? What do you do when your world is ripped out from under you to make sure that it never it never happens to you again? - To make sure you do not repeat your past in the future, and let it again become your present? How do you deal? What happens to you and everyone around you in the meantime? There is a simple answer, but not an easy one. I know that's difficult. I know the pain. I have lived it. I still live it; every day. It's a painful thing being scared to trust. Even if there's someone you can trust, there's no way you'll let yourself risk it again, because you can't tell the difference anymore. You've been lied to. Tricked. Hurt. Used. Damaged. And that never goes away.

How do you explain this kind of existence to someone who hasn't felt it themselves - who thinks there must be a way out for you? It shouldn't be so hard...

...It's sort of like being an alcoholic. Sure, you can be treated, and the possibility of a full recovery is even strong, but it will n e v e r leave you. Once you have a problem, you have it for the rest of your life. "One once, one always." The sad reality revealed...

Pain is much the same way. Even physical pain. If you break a bone, have a bad sprain, have some sports injury, a terminal medical condition; you will be cautious for the rest your life, because of the risk of re-injuring yourself. And most likely, you will also feel a certain amount of pain remaining from the original injury, reminding you to be careful.

Pain is much the same. It will stay with you always. Make you careful and guarded. And you will fight it, for the rest of your life if necessary...

I don't always know what do with my pain, or the remnants of it. I don't always know how to deal. I don't how to explain it. I don't always know how this is supposed to fit into the plan God has for my life, and still work. I may never know the answer to that. But I do know the One who holds the answers! And He's all mine. Forever. For as long as the pain lasts. For as long as it doesn't. For Eternity.... And His name is Jesus Christ, the Lord; God.